The JC: The Jewniversity Dating Scene

Published by The Jewish Chronicle on 28th October 2011 (after my work experience finished). Link here, and link to most of my back catalogue at The JC here (N.B. this blog remains the most accurate record of everything I have written.)

Summer camp is wasted on the young. A giant Jewish schmoozefest, helpfully delineated by level of orthodoxy (Habonim Dror to the left, Bnei Akiva to the right, all the others please fill in as appropriate), two or three times a year, for weeks at a time.

It is a very, very good way to meet potential life partners. Sadly at that point you just 16: hormones are running high, flirting skills are excruciatingly low and you fall in and out of love three times on one camp.

Back home, the dating potential at school after many years in a limited pool of people has fallen to virtually nil. But then, as the girls are getting over their hair-straightener addiction and the boys are learning about appropriate levels of Lynx, like a magic Jewish fairy, along comes university. For most of us that means lots of new nice Jewish girls and boys for our parents to want us to marry.

And this is where it all goes wrong, via a pleasingly alliterative mnemonic: family, friends and frumness.

First up, family. Any Jewish person who you meet at university, halacha clearly states, your relatives know their relatives.

The greater distances involved, (eg you live in London, they live in Manchester, and you're both at Leeds), makes this game of Jewish geography that bit more exciting, so relatives will tell other relatives and this will result in your great-aunt cooing over Shabbat dinner about "Anna's new friend". This is embarrassing.

Your grandfather will then say "Ooh, Moshe's grandson goes to Leeds, he's two years older and does a different subject, but I'm sure you'll bump into him. He's terribly handsome". Wink wink, nudge nudge.

You sincerely doubt that you'll meet in a university of many thousands, or that he's a looker if he inherited even part of Moshe's nose, but then proceed to meet him at the first JSoc event and fall head over heels. You have essentially just been set up by your grandfather. Gross.

And so we are on to friends. If you do manage to find someone at Booze for Jews who is neither the nephew of your uncle's best friend, nor sanctioned by an elderly relative, you will have joined the Jsoc dating pool. Welcome to the world of dating your friend's exes and absolutely everyone knowing who you walked home with after the JSoc ball.

The unholy trinity of school, camp and cheder, followed up with a serious dose of JSoc means everyone knows everyone, and everyone knows what you're doing.

But if you're willing to brave the gossip and the social incest, there then comes the issue of frumness. At home you knew which community people belonged to, you probably mostly socialised with people of your, shall we say "intensity" of Judaism, and life was good.

Then you get to university, where you don't know who's so edgy and Liberal they wouldn't touch you with a bargepole, or who's shomer negiah, and actually won't touch you.

Throw into the mix people who "find religion" on year course, and others straying from the tribe while away from the nest and, even if you do decide you like someone, arguments about keeping Shabbat, keeping kosher, and keeping Christmas are all in your future. Enjoy.

Anna Sheinman is a third year law student at Downing College Cambridge. She currently writes for and presents TV for Cambridge tabloid newspaper The Tab. Follow her on Twitter, or read her blog.

The Tab: Debate: Sexy at Sixty

Published by The Tab on 27th October 2007. Link here.

Last week, This Morning triggered public outrage when an elderly couple volunteered to demonstrate a sex position. But is this right? Should we embrace the sexy over-sixties, or get them off our screens?

WINSTON PREECE argues that age shouldn’t matter.

Old people are everywhere – strolling around markets, shuffling about in parks, napping on your couch. Hugh Hefner, one of the biggest lads in human history, is an old person. The Queen, the face on that penny in your wine, is an old person. With the ever-improving health service at our disposal, the elderly population has skyrocketed and sooner or later, you too will become an old person.

I admit, there is something inherently dodgy about watching a couple on This Morning emulating the ‘face-to-face’ position, whilst you tuck into your Cheerios. Nevertheless, this is overlooking the fact that there are members of the public who took offence simply because the couple in question were over 60.

But why should we discriminate against people simply because of their age? For a start, discriminating against anyone over something that they have no control over is completely unacceptable. Sexists and racists are guilty on that count; yet as bad as they are, at least they’re not hypocrites. Ageists are the worst when it comes to discrimination simply because at some point in their lives, they themselves qualified, or will qualify, as part of the group which they loathe.

While I’m not sure it should be acceptable to get couples, whatever their age, to perform sex simulations on morning TV, I am sure that there should be no reason to favour a younger couple over an older one. Old or young, we’re all still human – and humans of all ages need sex (although possibly not prepubescents. I’m not advocating paedophilia).

And there’s no point in denying it – old people are sexy too. Just look at Moira Stuart or Anne Robinson – who doesn’t go weak at the knees from that flirtatious Weakest Link wink?
ANNA SHEINMAN argues that OAPs should step aside for the younger generation.

Ageism is discrimination on the basis of age. Discrimination is differentiation without good reason. And if you don’t hold philosophical debates with a 3 year old, or play rugby with a 90 year old, you are treating people differently because of their age. But that’s okay, because you do have a good reason. Somewhere, in all the shouting about prejudice and how unfair it all is, we’ve lost that distinction.

When a 72-year-old shows his free bus pass, the other passengers don’t shake their heads in anger at how the poor man is being discriminated against. When I stand up to let that old man sit down he does not cry: “ageism!” And when he and his blue rinse brigade pals disembark said bus at the Post Office to collect their state pensions, they do not tut about the disgrace of their weekly dose of cash.

Whether it’s because they’re physically weaker, unable to work, or just deserve a break after 40 years of toil, we have decided, as a nation, that old people should be treated differently. And if that’s the case, they’ve got to take the rough with the smooth.

The same goes for the media. If you don’t want to see old people in pyjamas simulating sex on daytime TV that’s probably because you don’t find old people sexually attractive, and that’s for some pretty sound biological reasons. And if you, as a television producer, want Moira Stuart to sit down so that someone younger can stand up, that’s okay too: it creates jobs for young people, who probably need the gig more than she does.

Position of the Day: OAPs getting steamy on This Morning

As it is, in the case of Moira Stuart, it seems she was actually the victim of sexism. Take all the old people off screen by all means – we all know they’re not as aesthetically pleasing. But when you start doing it to the girls and not the boys, and the best reason you’ve got is something relating to women (and the kitchen) then I’ll start shouting.

What do you think? Use the comment board below to share your thoughts.

Presenting: Tab Trials: Blues Football

Published by The Tab on 26 October 2011. Link here.

Something I didn't write, but did present!

The Language Of The Like

Published by The Tab on 23 October 2011. Link here.

We all love to moan about Facebook. How it aids procrastination, has made both ‘stalking’ and ‘(f)raping’ into fun phrases, and will store THAT picture of you for eternity.

And to add to this list of crimes it has developed a whole new level of communication: the ‘like’. Don’t be fooled by its apparent upbeat nature. That chirpy little thumbs up in blue and white is undermining our use of language, one happy click at a time.

I discovered this on my return from travelling this summer, when a man from my more recent past ‘liked’ my status. WHAT DOES IT MEAN HE ‘LIKES’ MY STATUS?! Does it mean he wants to see me? That he’s just pleased that I had fun? Or happy I was gone? Are we talking now? Or only at the ‘liking stage’? Maybe he was just ‘liking’ a lot of stuff that day?!

I once thought a ‘like’ was some general expression of positivity toward whatever preceded it. Oh how young I was. Because like beauty, sexuality and potatoes at a farmers’ market, the like comes in all shapes and sizes.

There’s the sarcastic like: you have a new girlfriend and I’m still alone? Whoop-dee-doo. LIKE. The mocking like: you went out with your other friends and had a shit night? LIKE. And the equivocal like. You say you LOVE YOUR MUM, is this frape, or fo’ real? Commenting means deciding, which could be awkward, so instead let’s use that four letter word.

It’s useful, but it’s lazy, and it’s stifling conversation. Like a postcard with tick boxes, or a soldier sending a standardised telegram home from war, we are resorting to standard forms to communicate. But, fascinating though it might be, we are not on Brighton Pier in the 1950s, nor in the trenches of the Somme.

Somehow progress has taken us backwards. Far, far, back, to when we were grunting at each other like cavemen. EurghgrLIKE. LIKE. LIKE.

Illustration by Esther Harding

My back catalogue at The JC

Here is my back catalogue at The JC. Bear in mind this doesn't include everything, as some pieces don't carry any byline at all, but I can assure you are still mine. Those pieces are all posted below.

Going green is also good for business

Published by The Jewish Chronicle on 6 October 2011. Link here. I wrote the first two profiles.



One of Lucy Tammam’s ethical creations for her bridal range at Tammam

Which business owners may have less to repent at Yom Kippur? Maybe these four company bosses, who have found that going green and prioritising social responsibility is good for profits.

But it's possible to keep environmentally responsible at work, whatever your business. The Big Green Jewish website has a range of resources for firms looking to improve their social responsibility. Organisations like the Board of Deputies and UJIA are also helping communal bodies and synagogues to be more environmently sustainable.

Jonathan Simmons of Public Zone

The Barnet entrepreneur is managing director of a Euston-based digital technology consultancy, focused on helping "pro-social" organisations. It helps organisations like Diabetes UK and UN Habitat to use the internet, mobiles and databases to do their job better. Other clients include homeless charity Centrepoint, New Philanthropy Capital, which helps to evaluate youth services, and Action for Happiness, part of David Cameron's campaign to "evaluate happiness".

Public Zone has just finished creating the MyFarm website, a National Trust project where, Mr Simmons explains, "10,000 people get to run this farm in Cambridgeshire". The New North London Synagogue member is a trustee of new pro-Israel charity Yachad. His biggest Jewish client is the Maurice Wohl Foundation.

Lucy Tammam of Tammam

A Central St Martins graduate from Poole, Ms Tamman's company produces ethical bridal wear and couture gowns.

"My producers are in India and Nepal," she says. "I've been working really hard with Fairtrade tailors, giving them experience so they have couture training. Every part of the process is ethical."

She trains the tailors to make sure they are "just as good as a European tailor".

The Bloomsbury company currently produces around 20 dresses a year. "I use peace silks which means that the moth isn't killed, and I'm starting to use wild silks, which means no animal is held captive.

"I use organic Fairtrade cotton, which is vegan. My clients have different ethical needs and standpoints," she adds, "so what materials are used depends on them.

"We can do boning using recycled plastic and I often use vintage lace."

Galia Orme of Choc Chick

The Argentine-born businesswoman supplies raw chocolate-making kits to department stores including John Lewis and Whole Foods.

"We work directly with farming co-operatives in Ecuador and also only source organic and bio-dynamic cocoa," she says. "This means we are able to ensure that fair prices are paid directly to the cocoa farmers who work with farming methods that preserve their natural ecological environment."

Ms Orme visited Ecuador, where she saw the importance of sourcing products ethically. "I've seen wonderful organic plantations where cacao grows together with coffee, banana, mango and orange trees. It's beneficial for everyone involved and improves the taste."

She feels her business has tapped into concerns consumers have about where their food originates . "People want to feel good about the purchases they make."

Simon Cohen of Global Tolerance

When the theology graduate worked in sales for a publishing company, he felt "part of the problem". He now runs an interfaith communications agency. "I had 30 days notice and £300 to make it work," he recalls. "It was just after 9/11 and there was a lot of sensationalism about religion. I wanted to improve faith literacy in the media and help faith groups deal with the media."

Since setting up his agency, he has worked on projects for the Dalai Lama, the Chief Rabbi and the Archbishop of Canterbury.

"I saw that it was a really positive thing to do for humanity, but there was also a gap in the market. It was a good commercial opportunity and the company is thriving.

"We now have offices in London and New York. We've proved you can do well by doing good."