Itchy City: Pimlico Fresh Cafe Review

Review of Pimlico Fresh Cafe in Pimlico, London. Click on the picture to go to the original article.

Review: The Change Up

Published by Itchy City on Friday 9th September 2011. Link here.

  

David Dobkin, who gave the world ‘Wedding Crashers’, is back with another American slapstick cum rom-com bromance. Just to change things up, this one’s called… ‘The Change Up’.

The film opens on high powered lawyer and father of three Dave, up at 3am to do the nappy change (yes, there’s poo involved), whilst his infant son bangs his head violently and repeatedly against the bars of his cot. Frankly, I don’t blame the kid: the concept of this film inspires kamikaze in even the tiniest of minds.

So we’ve got Dave (aka Jason Bateman, the dude from ‘Arrested Development’), who’s bored by his great job, frustrated by his hot wife and irritated by his charming children. Ungrateful b*****. His best mate is Mitch, a stoned, out-of-work actor who shags fit girls and does fun stuff all day, but whose life essentially sucks. Possibly not the most stretching role for Ryan Reynolds, aka the actor who just divorced Scarlett Johansson.

Anyway, guess what? They want each other’s lives. It’s like someone’s prayer has been answered, and ‘Freaky Friday’ was never made. Twice. Or ‘13 going on 30’. This concept has been made into a film so many times, actress Leslie Mann, who plays Dave’s hot wife has already been in one: Zac Ephron’s soppy ‘17 again’. If ‘The Change Up’ is taking the piss out of the genre, they were being pretty darn subtle about it, because they stuck to the formula like… well like something sticky. Here’s how it went:

So they wish they were each other, something magicky happens: a lightning strike, a drunk fairy, this time peeing in a fountain, and next morning they look in the mirror, shock, horror, lah-dee-dah, it’s come true. They live each other’s lives, it’s ‘surprisingly’ difficult being the other person, and hilarity ensues. They live, they love, they learn about themselves. There’s a romantic subplot, in this case the feisty Olivia Wilde, Thirteen from ‘House’, and there is at least one schmaltzy montage. So far, so painfully obvious.

Thirteen from 'House', aka Olivia Wilde, aka the hot girl in the film. Smokin'.

But somewhere along the way, this film delivers. Specifically, on the ‘hilarity ensues’ step. Damn is it funny. The physical humour is scatological but solid (insert constipation joke here), and involves babies and blenders, always a winning combo, but the joy is in the one liners. Mid fight: ‘get my hands of you!’, mid conversation: ‘you know, the cancer list. The first three women you’d shag if your wife dropped dead of cancer’. Itchy are compiling one already.

Captain America Review

Published by Itchy City on Tuesday 26th July 2011. Link here .

Another Marvel adaptation for 2011's comic fans, this time with extra-bad baddies.

America is at war, governments are falling, and Marvel Studios has another movie out. Craftily concealed in this hilarious analogy between the WWII setting of Captain America and today is a serious point: we get that the story of the struggle between good and evil has 'universal, timeless relevance'. But you know what, we've heard it before.

Let's start with the goodies. Captain America is Chris Evans, AKA the guy with cream and glacé cherries on his nipples in Not Another Teen Movie. He plays weedy New Yorker Steve Rogers, who implausibly is desperate to sign up for the US army. Cue eccentric German scientist, an experiment gone right, and lo, a superhero. Evans, to his credit, does all that is asked of him in the role: shooting baddies, falling in love, and looking great in a tight t-shirt. The romantic female lead (Hayley Atwell), astonishingly for a Marvel, isn't at all irritating. In fact, she kinda kicks arse, and all in a standard issue army pencil skirt.

As for the baddies, no one can deny Nazis make the baddest baddies, and this bunch, led by the ever-scary Hugo Weaving, are even worser than the Nazis. They are super-nasty to a wicked orchestral soundtrack, and everyone does everything in sexy-as-hell 1940s outfits. Loads of long, black leather studded creations for the ones we hate, nipped in waists for the pretty girls, and a totally ridiculous superhero costume. The attempts at humour from both sides are not just successful, but also rather sweet, it's gripping, it's fun, and lots of things go bang. So far, so super.

Until we get on to the superbly crap. Weaving's accent sucks. Was he going for German? For the sake of German-Australian relations, we hope not. The CGI boys didn't do a great job on 'pre-op' skinny Evans: his proportions are all wrong, and creepily he has the same deep big-dude voice throughout. 3D was done post-production, and it shows. The plot had a few embarrassing holes, for example the baddies' motivation, and the ending is boring. Minor points, but unimpressive on a big budget.

But most disappointing was the lack of originality. 'You don't give up, do you?' says Red Skull (Weaving) to Captain America. And that's how Itchy feels about samey superhero movies. Red Skull looks like Voldemort, the Captain has an amazing Enchanted (Disney princess film) moment, and the plot is almost indistinguishable from Iron Man. It is a good Marvel comic adaption, a classic good v. bad yarn, with lots of explosions, and as long as that's definitely what you're looking for, you'll have a great time.

Review of Soju Korean Kitchen in SoHo

Submitted to Itchy London but as yet unpublished.

The Soju Korean Kitchen is squished between pricey Piccadilly and slutty SoHo, yet is super cheap and spotlessly clean. Swift and friendly service and decent Korean classics make it an (oddly empty) reliable lunchtime spot if you’re in the centre of town.

Our bokumbap (yup, great name, it means Korean fried rice) was subtly spiced, the fried egg on top perfectly runny. The £9 lunch set menu didn’t blow us away tastewise, but made up for it in quantity, the plates just keep coming: soup, meat, rice, pickles, pickles, sauce, more pickles. The Koreans sure do like their pickles. And we like their pickles too.

Review of Lounge Bohemia in Shoreditch

Published by Itchy London in June 2011

A website with just a phone number and a note: 'by appointment'. An unmarked door, a fire escape down into the gloom. So far, so hooch bar.

Forget clichéd Roaring Thirties glamour, this den of iniquity does it with sixties Communist style, and boy is it sexy. Slinky curves, Shoreditch trendies seducing each other at the next table, menus hidden inside books of Czech fairy tales (honestly dahling, what else?) and sultry low hanging lights. The cocktails (£7.70-£14) are both sublime and ridiculous. Rum infused with a Cuban cigar served over vanilla candy-floss anyone?